On the eve of his retirement from Lockheart Holdings, Sir Chiffley Lockheart sets his top executive, Philip, the task of dreaming up one final money making wheeze. With the help of marketing babe and professional bitch-on-heat, Kirsten, Philip comes up with the idea which will change the face of the planet.| 5 Jun 00 to 10 Jun 00 | Theatre Royal Bath, Bath & North East Somerset Performance Details => Venue archive |
| 29 May 00 to 3 Jun 00 | Sheffield Theatres Sheffield, South Yorkshire Performance Details => Venue archive |
| 22 May 00 to 27 May 00 | Oxford Playhouse Oxford, Oxfordshire Performance Details => Venue archive |
| 8 May 00 to 13 May 00 | His Majesty's Theatre Aberdeen Performance Details => Venue archive |
| 1 May 00 to 6 May 00 | Blackpool Grand Theatre Blackpool, Lancashire Performance Details => Venue archive |
| 24 Apr 00 to 29 Apr 00 | Arts Theatre Cambridge, Cambridgeshire Performance Details => Venue archive |
| 17 Apr 00 to 22 Apr 00 | Theatre Royal Brighton, East Sussex Performance Details => Venue archive |
| 10 Apr 00 to 15 Apr 00 | Grand Theatre Wolverhampton, West Midlands Performance Details => Venue archive |
| 3 Apr 00 to 8 Apr 00 | Grand Opera House York, North Yorkshire Performance Details => Venue archive |
| 27 Mar 00 to 1 Apr 00 | Palace Theatre Manchester, Greater Manchester Performance Details => Venue archive |
| 20 Mar 00 to 25 Mar 00 | Marlowe Theatre Canterbury, Kent Performance Details => Venue archive |
| 13 Mar 00 to 18 Mar 00 | Belgrade Theatre Coventry, West Midlands Performance Details => Venue archive |
| 6 Mar 00 to 11 Mar 00 | Milton Keynes Theatre Milton Keynes, Buckinghamshire Performance Details => Venue archive |
| 28 Feb 00 to 4 Mar 00 | Theatre Royal Nottingham, Nottinghamshire Performance Details => Venue archive |
| 21 Feb 00 to 26 Feb 00 | Richmond Theatre Outer London, Greater London Performance Details => Venue archive |
| 14 Feb 00 to 19 Feb 00 | Malvern Theatres Malvern, Worcestershire Performance Details => Venue archive |
| 7 Feb 00 to 12 Feb 00 | New Victoria Theatre Woking, Surrey Performance Details => Venue archive |
| 24 Jan 00 to 5 Feb 00 | Churchill Theatre Bromley, Kent Performance Details => Venue archive |
